‘National crisis’: Godfreys shut down leaves trail of bowling balls unable to be vacuumed up

Panic in streets around Australia as bowling balls litter the paths and roads now that there is no store selling vacuum cleaners that specialise in picking up the balls.

This comes after the household appliance giant Godfreys announced that they will be shutting down after all their profits were sucked up by a vacuum cleaner in their latest tv ad stunt.

“This is chaos,” said Jeremy from Sydney, “now that Godfreys is gone, how am I meant to vacuum up all these bowling balls?”

“Typical, the moment the world needed the Godfreys guy most, he vanished. I just hope a new hero will come soon to scream about reasonably priced vacuum cleaners.”

Doctors have warned that following the unopposed rise of the bowling ball army in our streets, there has been a record high level of people stubbing their toes. They urge all civilians to stay vigilant and safe.