General News
BREAKING NEWS: Comedy duo Hamish and Andy have taken over a bank at gun point screaming that everyone needs to “buy Hubbl right fucking now!”
This comes after reports of desperation from the pair due to basically no one buying New Corp’s knock-off Apple TV since it’s 2024 and TVs are already smarter than Hubbl.
“We tried playing nice,” screamed a clearly disheveled Lee responding to a police negotiator, “we tried filling your social media feed with non-stop ads staring people that make you go ‘oh yeah, they used to be on tv’ but that didn’t work so now we’re here!”
“We wagered our reputations on becoming the Hubbl guys, Murdoch said everyone would love it, but no you all didn’t buy it. So now I’m demanding that everyone in this building and everyone outside buy a Hubbl right now.”
“If you don’t hurry up and start buying some fucking Hubbls, we will start torturing the people in here. One by one Hamish will take one out back and start the ‘Everyday I’m Hubbling song!’ Don’t make us do that!”