A local man has decided the best way to minimise the risk of getting the Coronavirus is to not go to the gym this morning.
The man, who remains symptomless mainly because he doesn’t have the disease, said getting an extra hour of sleep in was the best way to boost his immune system, citing no medical evidence to back this claim.
The man, who still caught a crowded bus full of disgusting coughing, sneezing people into work, said that avoiding the gym was best way for him to minimise his risk of infection. “It was a hard decision but the right one in the circumstances. It’s such a pity.”
“We just have to do everything we can to avoid getting the virus,” he said as he hit the elevator button and then wiped his nose with the same hands.
The man has joined thousands of Australians who have taken extra preventative measures – beyond the ones recommended by medical professionals – to lower the chances of infection. The measures include leaving early from work, extended lunch breaks and ordering home delivery rather than cooking dinner at home.
The man said he had also upped his intake of beer and wine in recent days after hearing somewhere that alcohol killed the virus or something. “Better to be safe than sorry,” he said as he sipped his third schooner of the morning.
The man is now into his twentieth year of avoiding the Coronavirus by not going to the gym.
The Chaser Quarterly