King Charles rushed to hospital after hearing Woolies has stopped selling Australian flag thongs

Shocking scenes from Buckingham Palace as the King as been rushed to hospital in shock after hearing that Woolworths will not be selling Australian Flag thongs this year.

Officials claimed that surgery will be needed on on the royal over-inflamed prostate, that we call ‘King Charles’.

“We are all deeply concerned by this,” said a representative for the royal family, “I mean a grocery store not selling single-use board shorts with Australian Flags on them that would fall apart if you went into the ocean wearing them ahead of Australia Day? It is clearly a direct attack on the King.”

“His highness really related heavily to Woolworths, due to their shared love of extorting the peasants for money. But to attack tacky useless symbols of colonialism, is to attack his very being as a person.”

In response to the news of the surgery, Opposition Leader Peter Dutton has called for Woolworths executives to be executed for high treason.