Goldman Sachs appoints Josh Frydenberg as chairman, immediately loses $60 billion

Former politician Josh Frydenberg has announced his official departure from politics, after being forced to depart last year by voters, with the former treasurer being appointed as Chairman of Goldman Sachs in Australia and New Zealand who immediately saw $60b just disappear from the books.

The appointment has been dubbed a first of it’s kind in Australian politics as traditionally a politician has to actually reach a leadership role before getting given a high paying job in an industry that voters want regulated, not just aspiring to be a leader and failing to get there.

“We are super excited to have him on board,” said the CEO, “when we heard that the guy who wanted to become prime minister but couldn’t convince people that he would be a better leader than Scott Morrison was available, we knew we wanted him as our Chairman.”

“He has come with great ideas like investing in fossil fuels, lowering fees for our richest customers and announcing a bunch of car parks when people get mad at us without building them. We can’t wait to get moving under his leadership, just as soon as we figure out where this $60b went.”

The appointment has been devastating news for the Liberal Party who had been resting their hopes on his ‘talent’ despite him being voted out by his constituents, since that level of unpopularity is still better than the party’s current leadership.

One panicked party insider told The Chaser, “I don’t know what we could possibly do now. The only names still in our party people know who aren’t current or previous leaders are… umm… well it’s just Angus Taylor but the NACC will get him before he has a chance to be leader.”