Alleged rapist Bruce Lehrmann has expressed regret following yet another disastrous day in court during the lawsuit he chose to bring against Lisa Wilkinson, saying he wishes he didn’t listen to war-criminal and defamation loss enthusiast Ben Roberts-Smith’s advice.
“No one told me a defamation suit could backfire,” he said while breaking down during cross examination, “Ben just said to remember that we have the backing of Channel 7, and there is no way Kerry Stokes would fund someone who would embarrass themselves in a spectacular fashion.”
“I mean I didn’t follow his advice to a T, I haven’t done any leggies yet. Maybe that’s the thing my case needs.”
“It’s wasn’t just Ben’s advice either. Christian Porter said the media would definitely suffer a ‘humiliating step-down’, but so far the closest thing is ABC agreeing to a settlement where I give up the lawsuit but we agree to call it a settlement. I didn’t know that is what he meant by ‘humiliating step-down’. It doesn’t feel like a win at all.”
“Worst of all is Lachlan Murdoch, not only did he give me bad advice but the court case has gone so bad that even his outlets have started criticising me after years of being firmly on my side. My lawyers say that might be the worst possible sign for our case.”
In response to the case, Kerry Stokes has asked all journalists to work overtime trying to see if there are any Ben Roberts-Smith style pics of Bruce Lehrmann’s abs to help boost his public perception.