White collar workers throughout the east coast of Australia stopped work just moments ago, after everyone came to the collective conclusion that 3:30pm was close enough to 5pm to justify knocking off for the day and grabbing a relaxing afterwork drink from their precious alcohol stockpile.
“I mean, 3:30pm is pretty much 4pm, and 4pm is as close to 5pm as it gets,” said one home worker.
Workers have expressed surprise at how much they’ve enjoyed the new method of working. “I was worried that we would miss all the essential meetings, but then I realised that all meetings are unessential,” said a marketing and sales rep from Melbourne. “And I really like turning up to work with no pants on. Mind you, I did that a couple of times at work, too.”
Workers across the nation noted how much more productive they are without having a boss hanging around asking them what they’re doing this weekend all day.
The Chaser Quarterly