Kochie develops pink eye after Frydenberg interview

Sunrise host and professional joke book writer David ‘Kochie’ Koch has reportedly been diagnosed with a serious case of pink eye following his interview with Treasurer and human embodiment of ‘rich twat smugness’ Josh Frydenberg. The interview, which took place in the middle of a recession while the majority of the country is in lockdown with no JobKeeper and JobSeeker to assist those who need it, saw Kochie puckering up for Frydenberg’s arse with hard hitting questions about the Treasurer living with Scott Morrison like: “Is he* tidy?” (*he referring to the Prime Minister who according to sources is a grown-up). “What have you guys been eating?” said Kochie seconds before his tongue made contact with the Treasure’s asshole. “Mmm, microwave meals? That sounds like a party! Do you guys know how to feed and bath yourselves?” “Wow that is impressive, grown men knowing how to wash a plate is rare. I assumed you wouldn’t need to know that being better than us mere mortals. Sorry if this is too tough a question but could you spread your legs a little so I could get a better angle?” In response to this outbreak, health experts have warned the public to stay at least 1.5 meters away from Kochie, because “assault is a crime, and within that radius the temptation to punch him is real.”

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