Celebrity Advice

“I’m also bigger than average! Where do you shop your fit?” – Terrence, 33
Pesto: “Only the finest Antarctic fur! Of course I have to go to the penguin big and tall shop and they’re really hard to find! My parents helped me make my custom outfit which I really recommend.”
“I feel my contributions in the workplace are being ignored and not taken seriously by my colleagues, what can I do?” – Reginald, 23.
Pesto: “Reginald, I feel this heaps! Sometimes the other penguin kids say I’m taking all the attention away just for being me! But as my good friend Katy Perry told me you’ve gotta tell yourself “I am a champion and you’re gonna hear me roar *Penguin noises”
“I lost a lot of money on the AFL final cause you picked Sydney, how can we ever trust you?!” – Karen, 52
Pesto: Oh Karen, I’m so sorry you bet lots of money on a baby birds opinion on a football game, that was a really bad idea! In future I’d recommend not putting all your fish in one basket (unless it’s mine and it should be mine, all of it)
“How do I go viral on Instagram?” – Jen, 19
Pesto: Haha I’m not sure how to answer this, but the nice people at the Zoo gave me lots of fish and I went viral after that, so maybe if you give me lots of fish you can go viral too! Either way, please give me lots of fish, right now, fish fish fish fish *aggressive penguin noises
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