General News Archive
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General News Archive
‘World Idol’ announced: winner to perform at World RSLs
[Edition 78] LONDON, Saturday: RSL Clubs and suburban shopping complexes all over the world are clearing their schedules in early 2004 for the winner of the upcoming World Idol. Announced this week, the Christmas television event will pitch against each other the people 11 different countries most wanted to see discarded by record companies after…
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General News Archive
Disenchanted fan watches ‘Matrix Revolutions’ only twelve times
[Edition 78] SYDNEY, Monday: A self-confessed Matrix geek was so disappointed by the trilogy’s lacklustre conclusion last week that he has sworn to not watch it a thirteenth time. “It became more and more apparent to me every time I saw Revolutions that it wasn’t a patch on the first two Matrixes. By my twelfth…
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General News Archive
News In Brief
[Edition 77] The SARS virus had a brief stop-over at Singapore yesterday, spending two hours shopping for duty-free digital cameras and watching a television in the departure lounge. The virus had originally considered a two-night stay in the city state, but decided to hurry on to Madrid instead.
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General News Archive
“Faked weapons finds will back-up faked intelligence” – Blair
[Edition 75] LONDON, Monday – Tony Blair has today hit back at intelligence community leaks suggesting he deceived the public over weapons of mass destruction in Iraq. “These rogue elements in the intelligence community are making unlikely claims wholly unsubstantiated by evidence – and that’s our job” said a visibly angry Blair.
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General News Archive
Chopper Read launches stage career: breaks a leg before every show
[Edition 71] “There’s a lot of audience participation in our show,” Read said. “We always particularly enjoy the part where we get the audience to hand over all their money or we put their boots up their own asses.” “And of course, there’s no shortage of punch lines.”
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General News Archive
HK designer unveils summer range of SARS masks
[Edition 72] “They really are the ‘must-have’ accessory this summer,” said influential fashion editor Wendy Yu. “It’s important for today’s modern woman to resist fatal infection without compromising on good looks and style.”
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General News Archive
New Zealand rebadged ‘The All New Zealand’
[Edition 59] PM Helen Clark thinks that the new name will have popular appeal. “Stressing the benefits of our wonderful geography – as well as appealing to older customers – will take place in our TV ads, which will focus on the benefits of our ‘hills and memories’ format,” she said.
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General News Archive
Shake-up at Channel Nine as Packer looks for new faces, kidneys
[Edition 49] SYDNEY, Tuesday: Channel Nine boss Kerry Packer has ordered a complete restructure of the station’s management, after becoming aware that many of his old executive team had incompatible organs.
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General News Archive
Filmgoer upset to learn Lantana “not a forbidden dance”
[Edition 47] MELBOURNE, Sunday: An elderly man in an anorak was yesterday disappointed to discover that the Australian film “Lantana” does not revolve around an arousing illicit dance.
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General News Archive
Naomi Klein registers “No Logo” brand name
[Edition 43] TORONTO, Friday: Anti-corporatisation author Naomi Klein plans to release her own range of “No Logo” products, after registering the name for a new business venture.