Business
“I don’t get why responding to emails after work would be a hassle, just have your assistant do it” says local executive in exclusive interview
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With the buzz surrounding the new laws to give employees the ‘right to disconnect’ after work, we spoke to a victim of this change, local Millionaire Richard Headison the 4th to hear what he has to say about the proposal.
Interviewer:
“Welcome, I hope you found the place well.”
Executive:
“Yes well I didn’t, it was really tough to find a place to park my helicopter. Why did no one tell the help it would be so tough?”
Interviewer:
“Sorry about that, so what are your initial thoughts on the idea of allowing employees to not answer emails at 3am?”
Executive:
“It really confuses me why anyone would push for this, how could emails and phone calls at night stress anyone out? Do the rest of you not realise that is the assistants job to do?”
Interviewer:
“Ok but what about if an employee hypothetically can’t afford an assistant, what do you say to them about wanting to switch off at the end of the day?”
Executive:
“Well I think that workers who want to get anywhere in business need to be ready to dig deep and work hard any hour of the day. This is a perspective that like my job at this company, I inherited from my father.”
Interviewer:
“What about the people who object to unpaid labour and consider being on call 24/7 to be unpaid labour?”
Executive:
“People who claim that unpaid work is ‘bad’ really need to learn that there is immense value in the opportunity to work for free. I recently was in the Maldives sipping champaign for a holiday… I mean conference, and while there we spoke at length about the importance of actually doing the work. And I personally would value that experience more than the hundred grand I paid myself to go.”
Interviewer:
“Ok, well I think that’s everything. Thank you so much for talking to me today.”
Executive:
“No, thank you for hearing out a struggling guy like me…” *Begins shouting* “Assistant! Assistant! What’s your name again? Peasant boy… yes you… get the helicopter around to pick me up! And speaking of pick me up, prepare the cocaine… what do you mean no? Why does it matter that it’s after 5pm?”
