Trump vows to end three more wars he hasn’t started yet

UFC promoter and occasional US President Donald Trump has vowed to continue ending wars around the globe, including several he hasn’t gotten around to starting yet.

It comes as self-declared ‘Peace President’ announced a deal to end the war he started in Iran, ‘but for real this time’.

“People love peace. They love it. They say hey sir why haven’t you brought in all the peace you promised yet? But I have to tell you, the best way to make sure you can end wars is to have way more wars to choose from.”

“We’re looking at ending three more wars by Christmas, maybe four if you’re lucky. They will be great wars. Some of the best wars you’ve ever seen. Who knows I might even get the number up to eight wars giving us a good buffer because when you are negotiating a deal you always want other options.”