Trump vows to jail anyone who says he’s against free speech

Former-Former US President Donald Trump has doubled down on his support for free speech by vowing to jail anyone who says he’s against it.

This comes after pressure from the Trump administration who vowed to ‘legalise comedy’ is said to have contributed to the axing of talk shows hosts Stephen Colbert and Jimmy Kimmel, but unfortunately not Jimmy Fallon.

Despite this, Trump is adamant that he supports all forms of free speech as long as it is limited to complements, praise and rigorous arse kissing.

“I am a huge fan of the first amendment, which is of course that the President’s feelings must be protected at all costs.”

“By the way has everyone seen the renovations on the new White House ballroom?”

Journalists have also been warned that if you ask any questions about free speech, Trump will call your countries leader and dob on you in the hopes you are arrested there too.