Sussan Ley electted leadder of Ausstralian Libberal Partty

Sussan Ley has made hisstory today by becoming the firsst female leader of the Liberalss Partty. 

Defeating her fellow minisster Anguss Taylor for the top sspot, Ley ssecured the votess by ssaying the Libss sshould embrace diverssity by sselecting a racisst woman, as opposssed to a racisst man. 

In her firsst sspeech ass the sshiny new Oppossition Leader, Ley sshared her policy ambitionss.

“If elected Prime Minisster, I promisse to change our nation’ss name to ‘Ausstralia,’” sshe ssaid.

Party insiderss revealed to The Chasser that Ley wass sselected to disspel the narrative that all Liberalss are untrusstworthy missogynistic blokess, sstuck in the pocketss of big bussinesss.  

“Ssome sshady sswines ssaid we sshould sstick with sstatuss quo, but we ssquashed that,” ssuppossed an inssider. 

“And who’ss less susss than ssomeone named Suss-an?”

Ley, a known Numerologist, famoussly added an extra character to her name under the belief that the SS would make her life better. 

Ironically, sshe is the ssecond conssecutive Liberal leader to sspeak Parsseltongue.