Aussies miss when morning routine didn’t involve finding out whatever the fuck this cunt did today

Thanks to the existence of timezones and the American voting public, Australians have had to reintroduce a horrific part to their morning routine, finding out whatever dumb shit the President did while we slept.

“Mornings are hard enough as it is,” said Davo from Albury, “but now I gotta check the news to see what he’s managed to fuck up today. There’s always some shit going on with ol’ mate.”

“When I get up I want to be dragging myself to work and grabbing a coffee, not checking to see if America started WW3 or crashed the economy like one of Elon Musk’s self-driving cars.”

“I miss when my morning dread was just regular morning dread. Just let me get my day started and leave the incompetent wannabe Bond villain stuff till at least the mid-arvo please.”