US politicians urge people to not let gun violence spread, “it belongs in the schoolyard”

Democrats and Republicans have come together to urge Americans to not allow gun violence to rise in civil spaces, telling people to save it for where gun violence traditionally takes place: American schools.

“We must stand together against violence,” said congress, “specifically when the violence affects us. When we let you all have access to assault rifles, this is not what we envisioned.”

“Guns are for protection against your family or random primary school kids. We do not want to be known as a country that allows gun violence to spread beyond the schoolyard!”

“Other countries don’t have these issues and once we figure out what they do differently to the rest of us, we promise to act. Until then stay safe and remember to hug your emotional support AR-15.”