Trump signs executive order to provide all men with podcast mics


Terrifying scenes from the White House as Donald Trump spent his first day rushing through many executive orders, in a nightmare version of Monday morning scramble to catch up on work emails.

The orders included attacks on migrants, restrictions on LGBTQ+ rights and a concerning push to provide every man with podcast equipment.

“This country needs more podcasts,” said the delusional man, “specifically more podcasts from random dudes just saying nonsense. The more mind numbing and the less fact checked the better. This is how we make America great again!”

“We have the greatest podcast men, the best. They are so good, and they love me and they love their sponsors. They tell me I have the best podcast voice ever, so smooth they say. It’s what I’ve been told.”

In response to this policy, Australian company RODE microphones has become the sole driver of the Australian economy, with the hopes to deliver millions of microphones before any eventual tariffs.

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