World
FIFA Peace Prize winner and Nobel Peace Prize medal buyer Donald Trump has announced that he now has his sights set on receiving an Order of Australia.
“Some say I am one of the best Australians,” said Trump, “a lot of people say that. I hear it on the street, they say, ‘hey that Donald Trump is a wonderful man who deserves an Order of Australia and maybe even Australian of the Year’, but as a humble guy I think I’ve only earned the Order of Australia for now.”
“But if President Anthony Australia wants to give me both that’s up to him.”
“Although I would like to point out that I do have the Auk… Akas?… I have the submarines, the great great submarines, and I can take them away at any time. Australia, they trust me with their submarines, now they should trust me with their awards.”
In seemingly related news, American fighter jets have been spotted circling Tasmania.
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