Opinion: How am I supposed to explain to my child that this talking, suit wearing aardvark is gay?

Television networks in the American state of Alabama have this week refused to air a recent episode of popular never-ending children’s show, Arthur, stating that children would be unable to comprehend the concept that a talking, car driving aardvark could be gay. Responding to the outrage, Alabama broadcast director, Homer Fobe held a press conference this afternoon to explain the decision. “It is absolutely disgraceful that a children’s show would encourage this disgusting lifestyle choice,” he said. “If a rat and an aardvark are going to enter into a long term sexual relationship on our TV screens in Alabama, it damned well better be heterosexual.” Arthur director, Greg Bailey responded soon after. “Frankly I was surprised at the decision,” he shrugged. “If anything I was expecting them to ban the episode because Mr Ratburn’s partner was a chocolatier, given the state’s obesity rates, but I guess their priorities are different.” The episode will air in most other states without interruption.

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