The Middle East crisis has been thrown into further chaos this morning after it was revealed that former Prime Minister, Health Minister, Social Services Minister, Finance Minister, Industry Minister, Home Affairs Minister and Treasurer, Scott Morrison had secretly appointed himself Israeli Defence Minister upon landing in Israel.

Noting that he was now responsible for a massive crisis, his first act in the role was to immediately take a two week holiday in Hawaii with Jenny and the kids.

But experts say there could be a silver lining in the unusual move, as it has allowed Palestinians and Israel to find common ground on one thing: that Scott Morrison is a knob.

The United Nations says it has immediately paused work on trying to achieve a ceasefire in the region to focus on the more urgent task of a resolution banning Scott Morrison from playing the banjo. “This is something the entire world can agree on,” said UN Secretary-General António Guterres. Australian Prime Minister said that even though he supported banning Scott Morrison from playing the banjo, Australia would abstain from voting on the issue.