Colonel Gaddafi promotes himself to General

[Edition 62] TRIPOLI, Thursday: After years of ribbing by his Axis of Evil peers, General Pervez Musharraf of Pakistan, Ayatollah Khamenei of Iran and General Than Shwe of Burma, Colonel Muammar al-Gaddafi has finally promoted himself to General.

[Edition 62] TRIPOLI, Thursday: After years of ribbing by his Axis of Evil peers, General Pervez Musharraf of Pakistan, Ayatollah Khamenei of Iran and General Than Shwe of Burma, Colonel Muammar al-Gaddafi has finally promoted himself to General.

The leader of the pariah regime of Libya said he was sick of coping shit about his rank, and that he deserved the promotion due to recent diplomatic achievements. “The number of times old mates, especially from North Korea, Iraq and Syria brought it up I just thought, why the hell don’t I just change it? Even Nelson Mandela used to bring it up.”

“The only downside to my promotion was the call I got from Colonel Sitiveni Rambuka of Fiji,” said Gaddafi. “He sounded miffed, but aging dictators can be that way.

“I told him that since the free publicity of Lockerbie has died down, and most of the country is being swallowed by the Sahara, I needed something to raise my profile. The next step is to become Field Marshal, there aren’t many of those. Maybe that will stimulate tourism.”