highlight
-
General News Archive
Athens “ready to host 2008 Olympics”
We always expected that by May 2004 we’d be in a state of chaos and hopelessly behind, which is exactly where we are.
-
World Archive
SADDAM CAUGHT: US promises fair show trial
[Edition 79] BAGHDAD, Thursday: US President George W. Bush has assured the world that the newly captured Saddam Hussein will be afforded “all the illusory protections and empty platitudes we offer our own cowardly monsters like Timothy McVeigh.”
-
General News Archive
Disenchanted fan watches ‘Matrix Revolutions’ only twelve times
[Edition 78] SYDNEY, Monday: A self-confessed Matrix geek was so disappointed by the trilogy’s lacklustre conclusion last week that he has sworn to not watch it a thirteenth time. “It became more and more apparent to me every time I saw Revolutions that it wasn’t a patch on the first two Matrixes. By my twelfth…
-
General News
Al-Qaeda and El Niño to be blamed for everything in future
[Edition 77] REUTERS, Thursday: In an effort to increase accuracy in reporting man-made and natural disasters, news agency Reuters confirmed on Thursday that from now on everything is to be blamed on either Al-Qaeda or El Niño.
-
General News Archive
Chopper Read launches stage career: breaks a leg before every show
[Edition 71] “There’s a lot of audience participation in our show,” Read said. “We always particularly enjoy the part where we get the audience to hand over all their money or we put their boots up their own asses.” “And of course, there’s no shortage of punch lines.”
-
World Archive
Saddam double fears typecasting
[Edition 70] BAGHDAD, Wednesday: With all the talk of civilian casualties and the possible ecological disaster were Iraq’s oil fields to be set alight during the imminent armed conflict, it is easy to forget the impact that a war will have on the Iraqi entertainment industry. Take, for example, the leading Iraqi actor Yasin Ibrahim.…
-
World Archive
Colonel Gaddafi promotes himself to General
[Edition 62] TRIPOLI, Thursday: After years of ribbing by his Axis of Evil peers, General Pervez Musharraf of Pakistan, Ayatollah Khamenei of Iran and General Than Shwe of Burma, Colonel Muammar al-Gaddafi has finally promoted himself to General.
-
Entertainment Archive
Harry Potter fans warn against dangerous effects of Bible
[Edition 49] OXFORD, Tuesday: A number of concerned British Harry Potter fans have spoken out against the Bible, claiming that the holy text of the Christian Church can cause serious damage to children, who might interpret the miracles as evidence of the supernatural.
-
World Archive
‘War against terror’ episode of Friends helps New York to finally heal
[Edition 47] NEW YORK, Tuesday: Former Mayor of New York Rudolph Giuliani has thanked the writers and actors of Friends for their decision to deal with the issue of the war on terrorism in a special episode of the glib US sitcom.
-
General News
Woman unsure how to categorise relationship on census
[Edition 44] MELBOURNE, Tuesday: A 31-year-old woman has had difficulty classifying her relationship with her boyfriend on the census form. The woman said the pair had been dating for four months, and had casually discussed the possibility of moving in together. But she said it was probably too early to call themselves de facto. Similarly…