Opposition Leader Peter Dutton has reportedly been found desperately searching for any mention of a male version of the Matilda’s team.
“There just has to be a male version of the FIFA Women’s World cup! Do they even get televised?” said Dutton while being grilled by several journalists.
“Look, I just think the advertising has been very one-sided. Does no one care that the Broncos had to play at the Gabba because the Matilda’s selfishly shunted them out of Suncorp Stadium? It’s not like soccer has a huge following or anything.”
“And now they want to put on a public holiday, as if they’d ever put a public holiday on for a sporting event or a race anywhere in Australia. It’s unprecedented!”
“Clearly Labor is just trying to score political points. There’s no other reason someone would show support for a female sports team. If you really wanted equality, you’d have some sort of Men’s World Cup playing at the same time so people could enjoy both”
Dutton was purportedly defensive when questioned about the online search.
“Well it’s really no one else’s business what I look up online is it? I think it’s pretty poor when someone has to worry about being monitored online by the government or by anyone else. My free Avira software was supposed to protect me against that”
Dutton is purportedly in talks to hire a special consultant to teach him about incognito mode and has promised that if elected, all international sports teams would be detained indefinitely at Christmas Island.
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