RE: Australian government response to Israeli war crime (template)

CONFIDENTIAL – TO ALL LABOR STAFFERS,

HERE IS THE FILL-IN-THE-BLANKS GUIDE FOR RESPONDING TO ISRAEL’S BOMBING OF REFUGEES, USE THIS WHENEVER THE MEDIA ASKS QUESTIONS.

REMEMBER TO NEVER PUT THE IDEA OF SANCTIONS IN ANYONE’S HEAD AND ALWAYS TALK AS SPECIFICALLY AS POSSIBLE TO AVOID ANSWERING QUESTIONS ABOUT WHY WE ARE STILL SUPPLYING WEAPONS PARTS TO THE IDF. WE MUST DO THESE TO AVOID THE TRAGIC LOSS OF ANY SEATS IN THE UPCOMING ELECTION.

DO NOT SHARE THE TEMPLATE WITHOUT FILLING IT OUT!!!

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To whom it may deeply concern,

The (term for ‘thing that happened’ that is vague and doesn’t sound too bad) that has been seen in (location) recently has been (adjective) concerning.

Australia once again maintains our position that (word that means ‘violence’ but in a term that doesn’t sound as scary) should not continue for too much longer.

This tragic (word that makes it sound like a natural disaster) was concerning and as such we are calling for (thing that sounds like action but isn’t).

We are also disturbed by (insert claim that has already been proven false to both-sides the blame for the deaths of civilians) and hope that a solution can be found to bring the hostages home without Israel crossing any (colour of line that Israel is allowed to cross) lines.

Yours in (word to help pretend like you actually care about any of the people in danger),

(Insert politician name here)

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