Let’s stop divisive politics, but also be afraid of everyone different to you!!!

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Dear Australia,

Peter Dutton here, your favourite non-monster. I am here today to tell you all about how sick and tired I am of divisive politics.

Under Labor, we have seen a rise of protests against the military strikes in Gaza. This sort of rhetoric is dangerous and could hurt families; specifically Aussie families who would otherwise live in blissful ignorance of Australia’s support of bombing Palestinian families.

I believe that these protesters are the exact same as Ivan Milat, not in terms of their death toll, but as far as I am aware, Ivan Milat has never publicly said “I condemn Hamas”.

It is tragic to see the divisive woke left use such tragedies for political gain, this behaviour is essentially as bad as the bombing of Hiroshima.

Sure the police may claim that the protests were ‘peaceful’, but these are the same woke police who claim that refugees are not all rapists who want to murder your family and that scary African Gangs aren’t destroying the post-apocalyptic communist hellhole formerly known as Melbourne.

You simply cannot trust a word that the police says. Except of course when they are beating up Indigenous teenagers, then we must back them completely and ignore those who try to divide us by demanding the police stop.

The Albanese government has hurt Australia’s standing on the world stage. No not when they signed a deal worth over $900m with the Israeli company that made the drone which killed an Aussie aid worker, but when Penny Wong made a statement about potentially recognising Palestine using the exact same language that Israel and America pretend to have a soul too.

With a natural charmer like me at the helm, Australia would not be hurting our position with other nations. I mean everyone loves my jokes about Pacific Islanders drowning.

My Liberal Party believes that we need to stop this divisive politics once and for all, by never interacting with those who are different from us rich white people.

It’s like I said to the others in the hallway while I walked out of the apology to the Stolen Generation, what ever happened to Australia where people come together?

This nation is divided by politicians who wish to pit us against each other like it is some sort of sport, whereas I am the only leader who demanded more homophobic musicians in sport for the sake of balancing our nation.

I call on all Australians to ignore Labor’s divisive politics and instead come together to be afraid of everyone I tell you to be afraid of! They are trying to hurt you and your family!

And I call upon all media outlets to continue just running everything I have said verbatim without any context of my past actions.

Thank you,

Peter Dutton
Dark Lord

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