Editorial: For the sake of America, Joe Biden needs to do blow

Recently everyone who can read polls has said that President Joe Biden needs to step down, claiming that it is the “only way” to stop Donald Trump from once again grabbing America ‘by the pussy’.

This analysis is strengthened by Biden’s many senior moments which leave voters concerned like calling Zelensky ‘Putin’, saying Trump is the current Vice President, as well as all the ones not from today.

However here at The Chaser we think it is naïve to say that Biden stepping down is the ‘only way’ as there is one other way for democrats to beat Trump in November: President Biden needs to start doing cocaine.

Voters are concerned that Biden’s age has him lacking the energy and capabilities to get the job done, but with a bit of booger sugar, he will have that spring back in his step in no time.

Right now the man is running on ego, the main fuel of politicians, but Biden is up against Trump, an unlimited source of ego energy. So it’s time for Biden to step up switching to coke, the main fuel of political staffers.

We understand that some may raise concerns like ‘isn’t that illegal’ and ‘cocaine, in this economy?’ . To them we say that thanks to the brilliance of the US Supreme Court, all Biden would need to do is label the cocaine as ‘official duties’ and those problems go away.

Logistically there is also the issue that he would need to stay high for approximately four months, but with the help of Hunter’s stash, he can likely make that happen.

If he is in desperate need, he can always book an interview with Channel 7.

It’s time for this man who serves the American people to get ready for this fight one nostril at a time.

In order to save America, Joe Biden needs to either step down or snort up.

Yours,

John Delmenico

Editor of The Chaser

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