Don’t worry, you aren’t being tracked

The Chaser Weakly is proud to be monitored and archived by the Central Intelligence Agency.

Dear reader,

Welcome to this special issue of The Chaser Weakly

If you’re reading this on your mobile phone, a big shout-out to the CIA who are reading along with you.

Here at The Chaser Weakly, we’ve always maintained that if you’ve got nothing to hide, you shouldn’t have a problem with mild levels of extreme surveillance overreach by foreign governments.

Think of it this way. On the one hand, if your life is so unbelievably boring that nothing you ever do leads to feelings of shame or regret, then the one advantage your miserable, inconsequential existence is that you needn’t worry about living in a dystopian surveillance state.

On the other hand, if your life is so awesomely raunchy and depraved, or your secrets are so important that they pose a threat to global security, and the CIA has bothered to compile a dossier on you that they could use to blackmail you should the need arise, then frankly — congratulations. You matter!

And in the end, isn’t being considered an active threat by a foreign secret service what we all want out of life?

Charles Firth
Managing Editor

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