EDITORIAL: All Hail King Trump! (Please don’t kill us)

This newsletter is brought to you by Trump steaks, they went bankrupt because they were TOO tasty.

Dear readers,

This week involved what is normally considered one of the worst ways for any news story to start: ‘The US Supreme court has made a ruling’.

The court ruled that Presidents can commit crimes and get away with it, like killing those who oppose them, and we think that is great. No opposition here, no need to drone strike us sir… please.

Our editorial stance is that the US President should have the power to kill anyone who says they shouldn’t have that power, clearly it is a good thing for democracy. 

Just like not having a bullet in me is a good thing for this newsletter.

Since Joe Biden announced that he wont be dropping out of the race and instead will just not do anything after 8pm because he is too tired, we think it is best to congratulate the future King of America, Donald J Trump now.

We are so excited for this new era of global politics, where we are not afraid at all and will bring all the best satirical headlines like:

– Top 10 reasons why multiple bankruptcies are actually a super cool thing to have

– Donald Trump stuns audience by being almost too handsome on stage

– Local Pornstar wishes she could get with Donald J Trump

While we may be entering the final season of America, we cant wait for the sequel. (Or we can wait, whatever keeps us alive.)


John Delmenico

Editor of The Chaser

P.S. If any presidents or future presidents are reading this, we hear that the Murdochs have been talking shit about you. Just putting it out there.

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