Sussan Ley urges Australians to ‘abandon the major parties’ and support the Liberals

Outgoing Liberal leader and amateur speller Sussan Ley has implored Australians to ‘abandon the major parties’ and throw their support behind the little guy on the Australian political scene, the Liberal Party.

It comes after new polling has for the first time revealed the Liberal Party is now less popular than the ALP, One Nation and the emerging “Death to Koalas and Small Puppies Party”.

“We have the government, the Greens, the Nationals and One Nation all picking on us,” said Ley while packing up her office just in case, “make sure to vote for the outsiders for real change in this country.”

Meanwhile the strongest soldier for the left Pauline Hanson celebrated the unprecedented polling by saying she is proud to have completely destroyed the only viable conservative party in Australia.

“It’s taken me over 30 years, and in that time I’ve never once broken character, but finally I’ve managed to drag those idiots so far to the right they’ve lost touch with their own arseholes and become completely unelectable!”