STOP THE PRESSES! Man has nothing to announce

BREAKING! SUPER IMPORTANT STORY ALL AUSTRALIANS MUST SEE!

Prime Minister Anthony Albanese has stopped the nation with a historic three minute speech that really could have been an email.

This as the PM used a national address, something that is usually reserved for major news like announcing that we are going to war, in order to awkwardly say stuff he already said and just ask people to kind of use less petrol.

“There are many famous speeches in history,” said Albanese’s speech writer, “I had a dream, four score and seven years ago, this easter use public transport if you can; all will be equally remembered.”

Meanwhile MAFS viewers around the country have sent texts to their most annoying politically engaged friends telling them they can never accuse MAFS of being a waste of time ever again.