Stock market plunges: government blames Malcolm Turnbull

The Prime Minister Scott Morrison has blamed the former Prime Minister for the stock market plunged that tore through the Australian Stock Exchange today.

“The brutal truth is that if Malcolm Turnbull had stuck around and won the ballot that I won, then we wouldn’t be in this mess,” the current Prime Minister told reporters. “The instability he has created by leaving after we voted for him to leave is ruining this government. He needs to take responsibility for our actions.”

Morrison called on Malcolm to re-enter politics. “If he had any guts, he’d come back, run for Prime Minister, become Prime Minister, and then we could go back to blaming him for all the instability we’d cause trying to get rid of him again. Those were the good old days.”

Meanwhile Australia’s cricket team suffered a crushing defeat against Pakistan overnight in Dubai. Sports minister Bridget McKenzie said the loss was Malcolm Turnbull’s fault.


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