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Secret rort report says Morrison deserves an immediate holiday for being such a top bloke, claims Morrison

The secret report into the sport rort saga, which the Prime Minister is refusing to release, says Scott Morrison should take a well-earned break, according to the Prime Minister.

Mr Morrison yesterday refused to release the report which was conducted by his former chief of staff, but claimed that it cleared him of any wrong doing. “The report clearly says that the National Party are going to take the fall for this one,” Mr Morrison told reporters. 

“Not only that,” he said, “it actually says I’m a top bloke and should book a two week getaway at the Waikiki Sheraton. Fancy that?! It was a real surprise, but I’m a real stickler for the rules so I suppose I’m just going to have to follow the recommendations.”

Mr Morrison dismissed claims that the report was little more than a cover up. “It was an arms-length process. As my mate was writing it, I made sure I stayed at least one arms length away from him at all times.”



Charles Firth
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