In a stunning display of courage, Senator Linda Reynolds has announced she will file a lawsuit against an embattled former junior staff member.
“Sometimes in life you have a choice whether to roll over or to stand up for yourself, no matter how much the odds may be stacked with you,” said the former brigadier general turned politician.
“This 29 year old administrator who was allegedly assaulted in my very own office has been bullying and victemising me just because I called her a lying cow and abandoned her immediately.”
“I’m not going to be the victim of this story any longer! I’m going to use my wealth and influence to sue her over a 15 second instagram story and a couple of tweets,” she continued.
“It’s time for this obsession with consequences and restitution to stop getting in the way of my social feed.”
Reynolds’ decision has received widespread acclaim from senior politicians, many of whom report feeling intimidated by young people speaking out on their morally bankrupt behavior.
“Senators being held accountable for actions is a serious problem in Australia,” said five former ministers (he preferred to remain anonymous).
“There’s a culture of not standing up to them because you’ll just be seen as causing trouble, we’re forced to hide behind this mask of immense privilege and elitism, but Linda has shown us we can stand up to them and together we can make their lives unbearable at very little personal cost.”
Senator Reynolds is reportedly in talks with Netflix for a six-part special documenting her downhill battle with being one of the most powerful women in Australia for the past decade.
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