PM urges voters to be ‘realistic’ with demands, “increasing tax on our party donors isn’t feasible”

Prime Minister Anthony Albanese has urged disgruntled voters to please be more ‘realistic’ with their demands by avoiding any requests that could upset Labor’s donors.

This comes after a campaign online calling for a tax on gas exports to help reduce tax avoidance from the major fossil fuel companies and help the government pay for things during a worldwide economic collapse, which the PM has ruled out due to fear of doing anything.

“It’s always a sad day when I have to remind people of gas lobby talking points,” said the PM, “but I will continue to do so until people start to get the message.”

“There is a lot more to the story than the liars what you to believe, what the major gas companies lack in paying the proportional level of tax that everyone else does, they make up for in fancy dinners for me and my colleagues.”

“Democracy is about compromise, some of you want us to take away money from billionaire fossil fuel executives to help out everyday Aussies, but as the adults in the room, we are willing to meet you in the middle by cutting funds to disabled people so we can give it to American weapons companies.”