Dutton slams ‘hate media’ for making him look bad by publishing the things he says and does

Man proving that Australian elections are lost not won, Peter Dutton has once again slammed ‘hate media’ like The ABC and The Guardian for ruthlessly publishing his quotes verbatim, which he claims is in a concerted effort to make him look bad.

“You can’t trust the fake news media,” he said, “they are always making me out to be some guy who wants to be the new Trump.”

“They are out there painting me as some sort of shady, out-of-touch heartless bigot with no actual policies, using Indigenous Australians and refugees as a scapegoat in a bid to spread division while I publicly agree with a Neo-Nazi on how much respect we should show Aboriginals. Basing this coverage on nothing but those things being true.”

“Now voters don’t think of me as a big loveable softie because the media is biased towards publishing my direct quotes.”

“It’s not ok, and when I am prime minister I will have them all rounded up and sent off to Nauru.”

The ‘freedom of speech’ defender has now called his trusty lawyers to send defamation suits to anyone who quotes him moving forward.