Dutton denies being untrustworthy, “I have plenty of trusts”

Future Former-Opposition Leader Peter Dutton has responded to recent polls that show many see him as ‘untrustworthy’, by saying that he actually has plenty of ‘trusts’.

This comes as 4Corners revealed that Dutton didn’t disclose his stake in a family trust worth tens of millions of dollars while serving as a cabinet minister, in the sort of factual reporting that gets a news company dubbed ‘hate media’ by Dutton.

“People say trust is earned,” said Dutton, “and my family has earned a lot of money, so I’m clearly worthy of my trusts.”

“The real issue here is that even with these trusts, my 20 year old son can’t afford to buy his own humble chateau these days. If he entered the market now, he wouldn’t even be able to afford a moat to keep the lesser people out.”

“This crisis is caused by the dishonest nature of the leftists who hate you, Australia and your grandma. They want to let people into this country to hurt your grandma and steal her house.”