Dutton claims investing $1m in Akubra stock yesterday was just a coincidence

Keen investor Peter Dutton has defended yet another ‘non-suspicious’ investment by investing the owner of Akubra hats, claiming it was purely a coincidence that he did it the day before an Australian election was announced.

Dutton claims he ‘randomly’ and ‘without insider knowledge’ perfectly timed his investment to be just before the company saw a 1000% sale increase in the last 24 hours as politicians around the country prepare to pretend to be real people.

Dutton also defended investing inthe manufacturers of the following items yesterday, which are projected to see a massive spike in sales during the election:

• RM Williams boots
• Blue button up t-shirts
• Tan Chinos
• Jeans
• Hi Vis vests
• Mid-strength beer
• Crisis PR Consultants

Dutton told reporters that the investments had nothing to do with the election, claiming that he just got excited about RM Williams and Akubra after hearing that both companies are owned by a mining billionaire.