Breaking: Dutton unfit for parliament, also may have broken constitution

Former Queensland traffic warden, Peter Dutton’s political career is in turmoil tonight after documents came to light casting doubts on whether he can sit in parliament. 

The documents are based on his record as a minister since 2013, and clearly show a man with callous disregard for Australia’s international Human Rights obligations, and a savage use of racial division for political ends. The documents reveal a long history of locking up innocent people in cages for years on end without regard for their well-being or legal rights. 

Lawyers said that it was clear that Peter Dutton was unfit to sit in parliament. “In any civilised nation, the actions he’s taken since 2013 would see him shunned from high office,” said one expert.

Instead, the documents were being studied by the Australian Labor Party to see how closely they can copy Dutton without anyone noticing. 

Meanwhile, Peter Dutton was also revealed to be in breach of the constitution, after he benefited financially from government payments to childcare centres he owns. If found in breach, he would face severe consequences and lose his seat immediately.

“In Australia, a technical breach of an obscure clause in the constitution is a far more serious offence than imprisoning kids and torturing adults in offshore camps,” said one legal expert.

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