Late last night Brad Pitt conceded full custody to Angelina Jolie, shrugging off the loss, stating, “I can always buy more.”
Until he secures his new family, Brad has hired several child actors to walk around with him in front of paparazzi, not to disrupt the image he has spent years cultivating.
Meanwhile Woman’s Day has revealed Pitt had been preparing for the custody loss, having already downsized into an eight-bedroom home and hired a live in Au Pair.
It is rumoured that he has already picked out the scarf, fedora combo that will be worn by several of his children. In an exciting turn of events it is alleged that one of his new children will even donning a waistcoat cravat combo.
Editors of gossip and satirical news websites are anticipating an electrifying ten to fifteen more years of Brad Pitt children coverage. More news as it comes to hand.
The Chaser Quarterly