“Back in my day we were happy without social media” says guy whose ‘day’ had affordable housing and free uni

Prime Minister and literal boomer Anthony Albanese has pushed through with doing the most stereotypically boomer thing someone can do: taking away the fun of teens because Murdoch media told him to.

The Prime Minister has stated that the bill will make kids feel as happy and hopeful, like they did in his day when housing was affordable, university was free and the planet wasn’t on fucking fire.

“People are using social media too much,” he said in his 8th social media post of the morning, “clearly the reason young people feel hopeless is all he Ticky-toks.”

“They would feel much better by just reading the news about the state of the world, or getting ready for school listening to my mates Kyle and Jackie-O.”

“Hopefully this policy will get the kids out there playing underfunded sport again, and then in my ideal world, those kids’ parents can start placing a multi-bet on those games.”

“This policy is very special to me, see growing up in public housing, I never had social media. Now other kids will get the chance to feel the same.”