Australians around the world breathed sigh of relieve this morning when it was revealed that the number of dickheads has slumped below five million, in what is widely considered a first.
The figures, released by the Australian Bureau of Statistics, show that there are now just 4,873,987 dickheads in Australia.
In a surprise result, Queensland is no longer the dickhead capital of Australia, with the ABS recording just 961,015 dickheads in that state.
By contrast, NSW is over-represented in the dickhead department, with 1,736,838 dickheads recorded, although this result may well be skewed by the presence of Mark Latham in the region.
The Chaser Quarterly