Office worker Brent Michaels has decided it’s in his best interests if he doesn’t use his last sick day in case he actually gets sick. Michaels, who has used up nearly his entire year’s worth of sick days in the first three months of the year, claimed, “I’d forgotten that people sometimes use sick days for actually being sick.”
“I’ve definitely faked sick more than I’ve ever been sick, I had forgotten getting sick was even a thing anymore. I’d assumed modern medicine had done its thing and we we’re all just playing pretendsies.”
“My younger sister got her appendix out last year and I just thought she’d done it because she was out of vacation days.”
Michaels was reminded about the concept of illness when his boss enquired about why exactly he only gets sick on Fridays and Mondays, usually in pairs.
Michael was incredibly startled by such an ill-informed comment but simply accused his boss of being anti-Semitic, despite Michaels not being Jewish. This confused his boss for enough time for Michaels to leave the office, on account of being sick.
The Chaser Quarterly
IMAGE CREDIT: Brent Michaels, enjoying a relaxing morning beer.