Woman celebrates IUD on IWD, gets UTI

Summer, a 23 year old medical receptionist has been spotted purchasing high volumes of Ural & cranberry juice following IWD celebrations.

Her neighbours confirmed a noise complaint had been made to the Strata reporting loud moaning, banging noises and the occasional scream of ecstasy. 

“I can’t fill the 21.8% gender pay gap but there is always another gap I CAN fill, if you know what I mean,” she said to a visibly uncomfortable shop assistant before asking where the bathroom is and waddling away with crossed legs. 

“The world is on fire, when I pee it feels like fire, I just feel one with the Universe. You know?”

“I’m very lucky, I’ve had my IUD for a year now and I’ve only been to the emergency room 3 times. The doctor said IUD’s are a bit like witchcraft and that really resonated with me.”

“The pill made me crazy, the rod made me crazy, my copper IUD may perforate my uterus and I’m at risk of an ectopic pregnancy but it’s easier than trying to get guys to use condoms” she continued as she swiped left on several tinder profiles featuring dead fish.

When asked if she had any advice for International Women’s Day she stated “Life is too short to have bad sex. If you have to scream, scream loudly. If you have to go to the Emergency room don’t play down your pain levels and Always, ALWAYS pee after sex.”