JUST days after ‘standing by his man’ in refusing to criticise the United States’ new immigration policy, Malcolm Turnbull has been left feeling abandoned and embarrassed following a verbal dressing down by Donald Trump in a phone call that was abruptly ended when the President hung up “without even saying ‘I love you’”.

“I could tell something was up pretty early,” Mr Turnbull said. “I kept asking him what was wrong and he just said ‘nothing, don’t worry about it’.”

“I said that I was worried about it because our relationship means a lot to me and I’ll do and say – or not say – whatever it takes to keep us together.”

Insiders say Mr Trump was secretly annoyed with Turnbull about agreements that had been made with ‘The Ex… President’. Though he didn’t want to “start a whole thing”, Trump finally exploded when Turnbull “kept on nagging.”

“Next thing I know he’s telling me about all these other world leaders he’s been speaking to today and how I was the worst one by far. Then he just hung up!”

Mr Turnbull responded in appropriate fashion, changing his Facebook relationship status to ‘It’s complicated’, sharing a bunch of memes and Adele videos and posting vaguely worded updates about heartbreak and anguish that don’t mention anyone by name, even though it’s totally obvious who they’re about.

Lucy Turnbull was unavailable for comment, but had reacted to her husbands posts with a laughing emoji.