‘The bottom 90% of earners should pay more tax’ says multi-billion dollar company that doesn’t pay tax

Cabal of the world’s least charismatic wannabe Bond villains, News Corp has continued their campaign outraged that the government didn’t blindly continue with a plan to give way more money to the rich during an inflation crisis, instead opting to tweak it slightly so the rich only get a lot more money and the bottom 90% of earners get a little bit back too.

News Corp editors have slammed the move, saying that it is unfair on ‘everyday Aussies’ who happen to be in the top 5% of earners, however the government likely cant afford to give those people more money due to tax-dodging billion dollar companies like News Corp.

“When it comes to taxpayer money, it’s important to fully commit to any previous promises,” said a representative for the company that took tens of millions of taxpayer money for women’s sport coverage only to barely change anything about their lacklustre women’s sport coverage.

“Everyone should be pay their fair share of taxes. It’s how we have a functioning society. Without these taxpayer dollars, how will prime minister’s afford the essentials like using the government jets to fly to our parties in order to kiss our ring?”

“This is class warfare plain and simple, how dare they attack poor defenceless rich people like this? They should keep doing what they normally do and keep attacking the millions of people living below the poverty line in this country. This move is just so out of touch with the struggles of ordinary Australians.”

“Seriously how are high income earners meant to survive with just an extra $4.5k a year? That’s doesn’t even cover a year of helicopter rides for the elite private school drop off!”