Opposition leader Peter Dutton has stated there isn’t enough information on this new thing called “Pride Month” after seeing a raft of rainbow flags out of the window of his office.
“We can’t afford to divide the nation because of woke politics” he said in a Sky News interview. “It’s wokeness gone too far, our veterans get two public holidays, lifetime benefits and a giant memorial in Canberra but these people want a whole month where they get recognised as people that exist!”
Mr Dutton said that there was not enough detail in the concept of ‘being tolerant’ to determine whether the LGBTQI+ community deserved to be treated like human beings. “This opens up a whole raft of questions. Does this mean they’ll get a say in how our society is run? Next thing you know they’ll be wanting the vote.”
Instead, he said, the LGBTQI+ community should focus on more practical things than recognition of their existence. “You know, things like making their closets more comfortable to live in, and seeking support for depression that comes from living a lie your entire life.”
He said that recognising LGBTQI+ people was creating divisions in the community. “I’ve talked to lots of gays and they tell me they don’t want this symbolic stuff,” he claimed. “We should just make sure they’ve got practical things, like running water. They don’t need complex things like a voice in the society they live in. That’s far too complicated for them.”
The self certified ‘not a monster’ has described the 7th annual celebration of queer rights as ‘completely out of the blue’ and ‘ill-advised’. “Apparently, this lot also gets a parade in Sydney every year,” he said shaking his head “When I was a Queensland cop, we never would have let this happen.”
“There’s options we haven’t weighed up yet,” he continued, “We’re getting reports of queer events getting canceled due to threats of violence. So clearly the solution to that is to get rid of LGBTQI+ events.”
Mr Dutton has announced he will petition the government to allow for “QLD police pride month” presenting a rainbow made entirely of shades of blue.