‘Oh fuck, I’ve let everyone down’ local AEC staffer realises he forgot to rig the vote like everyone said he would

Local AEC worker Jeremy Realman has panicked after realising that he has completely forgotten to rig the referendum for the Yes victory like everyone was waiting for him to.

“Oh fuck,” he said moments after realising he still has a million dollars worth of erasers in his bedroom, “I said I was going to handle the rigging this vote. How did I forget?”

“Everyone is going to be so upset at me. The UN, the elite Yes organisers, the prime minister, the secret communist club, Greg down the road and all the sellout satire websites. They’re all going to be so mad.”

“I was so organised too, I even filled the van for smuggling ballots with white-out after the tip off that they are voting in pen.”

“Man I wish there was an easier way to rig the vote when you are in charge of the counting than having to painstakingly erase every answer, re-write the answer, then accurately count the forged ballots. Oh well, maybe next referendum.”

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