Labor vote skyrockets after winning over ‘disgruntled Liberal MP’ demographic

Updated polling has revealed that the ALP is in the box seat to win the upcoming federal election on the back of a massive swing to Labor from disgruntled LNP politicians. History says the LNP politician demographic has traditionally been a strong one for the LNP, but less so if everyone in the Coalition hates their leader with a burning passion. Sensible LNP minister and texter Barnaby Joyce has committed to switching his vote to Labor in a desperate attempt to get the government out of his life. Potentially staring down the barrel of unemployment, the Prime Minister has become concerned at his prospects of finding a new job as his referees are “shithouse.” “All the people I would have put down as my referees either think I’m horrible or a psychopath,” he explained. “And that’s just Jen and the girls.”

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