Herald Sun journo struggling to blame Cyclone on immigrants

A journalist from the alleged news publication The Herald Sun has taken an extended lunch break, attempting to link Cyclone Alfred with one of daddy Murdoch’s talking points.

“I need to find an angle,” said Tristan while doing a line of coke, “there has to be some way to blame immigrants, woke or Labor.”

Tristan has reportedly been scrolling through Brisbane’s social media looking for someone who fits the bill with causing a category 2 cyclone and being “foreign looking enough” but can only find surfers, preppers and Clive Palmer.

“I got this one guy who claims to be a rain shaman but he’s actually just from Nimbin,” he sighed dejectedly, “I’ll run it up the chain and see if his name sounds ‘different’ enough, otherwise I’ll have to start doing a Daily Mail which is just finding random influencers locking down in Brisbane whose old bikini pics I can use as the thumbnail.”