Giant metaphor explodes moments after launch

The world’s biggest metaphor, launched by billionaire Elon Musk’s company, has exploded moments after lift off.

Thousands of people who would be much better off if the metaphor didn’t exist, gathered to fawn over their own immiseration and were deeply disappointed when it didn’t go according to plan.

The entire metaphor was, appropriately enough, seen spinning rapidly within seconds of the explosion. “This is actually a huge success,” said Elon Musk, also rapidly spinning the setback into a victory.

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